Styles that Empower: How to Dress for Success in Every Situation

We are on our way out of town and it’s a cold clear day, (minus 7 degrees and likely to get even colder). The road is snow packed with icy sections. Last week I spun off this road at the last deep bend just before Highway 62. The car zig-zagging every which way and I improperly jerking the steering wheel this way and that, in fact doing all the things one is not supposed to do in a skid.

This morning, after lying in bed reading my latest book – The Lay of the Land by Richard Ford, it was all time and motion to hit the road by 9.00am.

I agonized over what I should pack. It’s a multi-functional trip, covering lots of ground and varied scenarios.

I will be staying at mom’s apartment which is hot and stuffy so something cool here, I am also going to the doctors and dentist, so not too casual or too many layers. I am having a full medical at the doctors where I must dress and undress, preferably something one -piece that slips off and on with ease but not messing up my hair. Next there is the ophthalmologist. I need to look especially professional here, first impressions last the longest and I need to convey an aura of someone who is “together”, socially aware, intellectual and smart because he has been hard to get an appointment with and if he thinks I look like a “dork” he may drop me as a patient. The waiting room will be crowded, and I will have drops in my eyes making me even more blind than I already am.

After that it is the dentist for a check-up and cleaning. Not much to worry about here, but shoes! As I recline in the dentist chair, my shoes will be on full view You can tell a lot about a person from their shoes. Neat, clean, polished shoes indicate a person who cares about themself and the image they project. My shoes are watermarked and stained with salt; they show a slovenly type with a slack attitude.

Saturday is Jayce’s birthday, so we will just sit around and play with the kids, informal and relaxed, here slippers will be fine.

Sunday is D-Day. A visit to the house of family. I wont'say which family member, but you know who I mean we all have that one. It's a toss-up what the climate will be like, could be fine, but could be cloudy with a chance of frost. We sail unsteadily into this new relationship, not yet run aground but decidedly in shallow water, an undercurrent of scorn is palpable. Here I must try to be gay, but not too much, social, but not too much. Watch my “P’s “and “Q’s “so to speak, check my general composure. Is my face set wrong, is that a smile or a smirk? Was that a joke I made or another hidden insult? I had better be careful here, I am in danger of running aground, shipwreck is a real possibility. I think I had better not joke at all, after all, life is more on the serious side here. To navigate these troubled waters, I must be the ugly duckling that became a swan and glide effortlessly and smoothly, ever mindful that its any port in a storm. I also need to be especially aware of my dress here. Look my best of course, not the sweater I knitted for heaven’s sake, that smacks of boasting. Perhaps the white T-shirt, and grey top from Old Navy, that outfit says modern, in step with the times, confident, fun, relaxed plus it is figure flattering. Of course, my new expensive jeans- they fit well and are not baggy. I must not look like a dumb sixty-six-year-old for reasons of my own and because that is what they see me as and I certainly don’t need to prove anyone right by looking like one.

Needless to say, in the past when I went over there, totally unaware that I was aggravating to the nth degree, with my funny (I thought) little anecdotes of my hiking or adventure travels- think Yukon – Dog Sledding etc. subjects which I thought to be interesting but which apparently only aroused feelings of pity and embarrassment for a foolish old woman who is not “normal” and should learn to fall back into the shadows where the dregs of society and ageing women- belong.

#aging #family dynamics #inlaws #women over 60