Butterflies and Wallflowers

How many times have I heard someone say, “I need to get out” (and this in a normal world with no pandemic circulating the globe)? These are the ones who’s weekly “dance card” is full of daily activities, gaily going from one event to another. Social butterflies gain energy from social interaction. Butterflies are party animals.

Introverted wallflowers on the other hand have no real need to be constantly in the company of others. Quite the reverse.

I am a wallflower and groups of people and constant socializing tires me out, I need my alone time daily to regroup and regenerate. Parties and dances can be a challenge, leaving me sometimes with a massive energy crash so that the next day I need to sit in solitude to recover. Being alone is my favourite place to be. Even when I enjoy a small social event, I can still come home exhausted. Its not that I’m anti-social, I love people, and I love engaging with them, its just I feel this pressure to be “on” and I am hopeless at small talk. There is apparently, a scientific reason for this; the wallflowers’ brain works differently to a butterfly’s brain. In research studies, PET tests (positron emission tomography) to measure cerebral blood flow—have shown that extroverts seek sensory stimulation, driven more by sights and sounds, whereas introverts and conservative people are more introspective, pay more attention to internal thoughts. I cherish my alone time and at the end of the day, I love to retire early, (at 9.00pm or sometimes earlier) for my alone/quiet time. No sound, no music, no one talking to me, just me, my dog, my journal and books, I need this time to re-charge).

Extroverts are the opposite, they like noise around them and high levels of activity. I can see where they are particularly vulnerable to having a crisis moment. Bored with themselves and alone for too long they will desperately be seeking social stimulation of some sort. Social gatherings and happy talk are what they are best at. Now more than ever, under the present stress level, communication and social feedback is crucial to all, but never more so than to the extroverted personality.

So, what is the solution, and how do we brace for the long road ahead? Many online classes have emerged, Yoga, Fitness, Dance, and I especially like the line dance videos where I can brush up on my steps. Perhaps an online learning course? What about Facetime or Skype? You can still talk to family, friends and co-workers directly and safely keep your two metres distance. This new way of living is going to teach us much about ourselves, how we shop, how we work, our daily habits, what makes us tick, its a new way of thinking.

When this pandemic is over and we are all “released” from solitary confinement back into the big wide world, how will you have changed and what is the first thing you will do? For me, I’ve noticed my “to do list” is no longer urgent, that I can get by with grocery shopping only once every two weeks instead of haphazardly dropping by a couple of times a week. I do not waste as much food as I used to, all those leftovers are being used up, my menu planning is dutifully planned weekly, not an ad hoc last-minute decision. I will be wary more than ever of crowds. I don’t think I will be heading to the food court in the mall anytime soon. Social distancing may be beneficial even without a health crisis.

Anyway, right now I don’t need to concern my self with that, we are not going anywhere and I’m happy in my own little bubble, and as Greta Garbo once famously said “I want to be alone.” (actually, I think she may have said, “I want to be left alone.”)

#coronavirus#isolation#pandemic#social-distancing #introverts